Trapped
by Sabi's dream world
Summary: Arthur forces Emrys to reveal himself, promising to bring back magic if he does.
1. Reveal Yourself

For the past couple of weeks Merlin has been getting more and more excited. He has gone from ignorance, to denial, to disbelief, to hope, to happiness, to plain old giddiness. But despite all that, Arthur, for the first time, is being quite secretive about his plan to bring back magic. He knows that Agravaine isn't the biggest fan of his idea which makes Merlin happy because that man has been getting on his nerves for months now. The only thing Merlin has heard from Arthur, only in side conversation, was that he would ask Emrys to reveal himself and he would thank him and appoint him Court Sorcerer, after which he would bring back magic. Arthur says he has the papers ready and everything.

The news travels fast through the castle and he has heard more from gossip than from Arthur himself who has been avoiding everyone except his uncle. Merlin and Arthur haven't been on the best of terms ever since Agravaine came. Merlin doesn't want to reveal himself as Emrys, he wants to tell Arthur he has magic. But if revealing Emrys meant bringing about magic then he would do that. He presumes that the king would announce that he wants Emrys to come to the throne room at some point alone. He knows Arthur wouldn't want a spectacle, which was something he is happy about.

Merlin is preparing Arthur for the announcement in the throne room. His king is silent and almost seems nervous. It's probably because he knows that people might not accept magic. Merlin would usually babble a lot in these moments but he himself is nervous since within the next few days he would have to go to Arthur and tell him he is Emrys.

Merlin stands behind Arthur's throne and waits for him to begin. The room isn't as filled as he had expected. It only contains his knights, except for Lancelot and Gwaine, who were out in some villages. The room also has the Queen (Gwen), Gaius, Geoffrey, and Agravaine.

Arthur begins his speech.

Finally Arthur says, "Wherever I have went and whenever Camelot has been in danger, Emrys was there to protect. Now I ask that Emrys stops hiding in the shadows and shows himself so that he may be thanked, and so that with his help magic may be brought back to the kingdom."

Merlin stops breathing. He didn't think Arthur would ask Emrys to reveal himself so publicly.

Can he do this?

Would it be selfish of him not to, if this is the way to bring back magic?

He can see some sort of desperation in Arthur's face when nothing happens.

"Camelot will grant you safety in your revelation." Arthur adds. Merlin can see Arthur hadn't planned on saying that presuming that Emrys would reveal himself already.

Merlin looks at Gaius. Gaius' face is almost unreadable but Merlin is pretty sure he is internally screaming for Merlin not to do it.

Merlin finally takes a deep breath and starts walking forward.

"Where are you going Merlin?!" Arthur hisses.

Merlin doesn't answer and instead stands a few steps in front of the throne.

"Merlin. This isn't time for your nonsense." Arhur says in annoyance.

"You asked for Emrys, well here he is." Merlin says quietly, trying to keep his voice from shaking but doesn't seem to be having much luck.

Arthur frowns.

"Where is he?" Arthur asks.

"I am Emrys, sire." Merlin says.

"What do you mean you are Emrys?"

Merlin resists the urge to roll his eyes or say something stupid like "you are a bit slow aren't you".

"By that I mean exactly what it says. The druids call me Emrys."

Then suddenly all the knights in the room surround him with their swords pointing towards him. Merlin frowns and waits for Arthur to stop them but it doesn't happen. Merlin looks from the knights back to Arthur. He can't read Arthur's face.

Merlin closes his eyes when he realizes what is happening.

"Ah. Right. Of course. How stupid of me. I've seen you do this on so many others before, trick them into it. I never thought I would fall into such a trap myself but maybe I had too much faith." Merlin says with a sad smile putting as much sting into his words.

Merlin wonders if this is how Arthur felt when others in his life betrayed him.


	2. Agony

Arthur's face is made of stone, not a single movement visible. Merlin knows that the knights are only waiting for their king's orders so he waits, his heart beating he can barely hear anything else.

"The cuffs." Arthur finally says his voice straining.

Merlin can't bear to look at his king anymore. Even though he can't see the hurt in Arthur's eyes he knows it is there because he feels the same. Looking into Arthur's eyes would only lead to more trouble. He wants to use his magic to throw off the knights and show his master that he is a good man. He wants to yell at his king for tricking him into giving up his identity when all he has ever done for this kingdom is protect it. His last sense of self-preservation stops him from doing all this.

Instead he watches one of the older knights, a knight from Uther's reign, come up to him with a box with strange carvings on it. The knight stands a few feet away almost as if here were afraid. Merlin knows what kind of power he has, he knows that with a flick of his wrist and a glow of his eyes the knight would no longer be there but he's Merlin. The thought of doing something like that makes him sick.

The knight proceeds to uncover the box and two iron cuffs stare back at Merlin. His eyes nearly bulge out and he unconsciously takes a step backwards until he feels a knights sword at his back.

Was Arthur trying to get back at him? Arthur has been betrayed many times and it seems the universe wants Merlin to feel the betrayal as well because not only had Arthur tricked him into revealing himself but now he expected Merlin to put on two iron-cuffs that would restrict his magic. He has read the tales of suffering of those who put them on.

Merlin flexes his hands and fingers. Can he do this? Can he willingly put them on? He knows deep down that he would do anything for Arthur, he promised as much, but this was beyond his wild imaginings.

He turns his head for a moment to look at his king. His expression doesn't seem to have changed. A small tear escapes Merlin's eye before an expression of resolve appears. He straightens his back and raises his head high up, and finally puts his hands in front of him, all while looking at Arthur. As he sees the knight putting the cuffs on he swallows for the pain that is to come.

Pain shoots up his spine straight to his head and he lets out a yell of agony. Merlin concentrates so hard on not letting the pain get to him that he falls to the ground. The tales lied. This was beyond suffering. He can't reach his magic, instead there's a deep black void staring back at him. As he regains control of his body he stands back up, his legs still shaking. His voice wants to scream but he can't. He has to be strong, for Arthur, even if Arthur is the one doing this to him.


	3. Lancelot

Merlin looks up bleary eyed when he hears a noise in the dungeons. He's been in an out of sleep trying to keep the pain at bay and not thinking about the pyre he was sure was being built outside.

A familiar figure appears before him.

"Oh Merlin…" Lancelot says gently. Merlin smiles despite the pain. He didn't think he'd ever see his friend again.

"What are you doing here Lancelot?"

"I came to see you."

"Arthur allowed you to?" Merlin asks surprised. He was no longer sure what to think about when it comes to Arthur.

"With some persuasion." The knight says and Merlin grins. It appears Arthur isn't yet made of stone but he isn't far from it.

"I don't know what to do Merlin."

"I know. But your loyalty is to Arthur first." Merlin replies trying to be calm.

"You're my friend Merlin."

"I know that and I will be forever grateful for having someone that saw me for who I was. But it is my time and no matter what side you take you will always be my friend."

"I can't believe he would do this…" Lancelot says and there's a moment of silence as both of them ponder the last few years they have spent at Camelot. Lancelot had always encouraged him to tell Arthur where as Gaius did the opposite.

"It's simple. I betrayed him." Merlin says trying to calm his friend but in his heart he knew it was far from simple.

"You protected him, not betrayed him…"

"It's not that easy. He's been hurt one too many times and I lied to him."

"You don't deserve this."

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't. I honestly don't know anymore." Merlin sighs.

"You're powerful Merlin. Couldn't you just magic yourself out of here?" Lancelot whispers the last bit despite knowing it is no longer necessary, not when the whole court knows. Merlin is sure the whole town knows by now what with how quickly gossip flies around here.

"I would but…" Merlin raises his hands up to show Lancelot the cuffs on his hands.

"What are those?" Lancelot frowns.

"They make me unable to reach my magic."

Lancelot's eyes bulge out.

"Arthur did this?"

Merlin just looks down.

A noise comes from behind Lancelot.

"I…I don't…"

Merlin can tell that Lancelot's loyalties are split right in half and he hates seeing his good friend like this.

"Lancelot. Be there for Arthur, that's all I ask." Merlin says before his friend gets sent to the dungeons for releasing Merlin and committing treason.

Lancelot is about to reply but he hears voices behind him so he leaves Merlin.

Merlin slides back down to the cold ground.


	4. Strength of Friendship

For a moment Merlin wonders why he even bothers being strong for others. He was after all going to his death so maybe he could drop this charade and just break down. Yet all his life he had to be strong, to protect his mother, to keep his secret, to protect Camelot and Arthur, and even when he tries to shut down he just can't. Despite all this he can't stop the tears flowing down his cheeks. He isn't even sure why he is crying anymore. He wonders whether Arthur would call him a silly girl and deep down he wishes he would, not because he enjoys the insults, well maybe he does a little, but because it would mean that Arthur isn't closed off. Merlin has yet to hear anything about his impending sentence. Will it be the pyre or the sword? He thinks that maybe Arthur will want to humiliate him first, the way Merlin humiliated him in a way. Merlin thinks that maybe he is crying because he will miss his friends, maybe he's crying with a sense of relief because now his secret is out, or maybe he's crying because he lost the friendship he cared about the most.

Looking through the small window all he can see is a leaf passing by in the wind. Pain shoots through his body as the cuffs absorb more of his magic. Maybe his tears are for the magic that is being ripped away from him. It is like watching a loved one die in front of your eyes and there is nothing you can do about it. Magic has always been in him and the darkness it leaves behind is tearing his mind apart. He isn't even sure if he'll be alive by the time his execution is ready.

Before he can think more about how pathetic he is he hears swords clashing in the distance and immediately sits down.

"What the hell is going on?!" Merlin hears Gwaine coming to his cell.

Merlin sighs. He knew it wouldn't take long for Gwaine to make his way down here.

"Alright, that's it. I'm breaking you out of here." Gwaine says as he checks the lock on the bars.

"Gwaine." Merlin says in hopes of stopping the knight.

"I can't believe this! How could he? Or maybe I can believe it." Gwaine says but doesn't look up.

"Gwaine. Stop. Stop it."

"What is wrong with this bloody lock?" Gwaine says in frustration.

"Nothing." Merlin replies but looks down at his ragged shoes.

"Merlin. Tell me what's going on? I just got back and heard that you were in the dungeons. Now, stocks, I'd understand, you used to live there so I figured the princess was feeling nostalgic for the good ol' days. But dungeons? That's a bit much, even for his royal highness." Gwaine says the last part with such disdain that Merlin's impressed and a little jealous. Only he is allowed to talk about Arthur in such a way.

Merlin decides not to reply unsure of how to go about this. Does Gwaine know why he is even in the dungeons?

"Arthur had every right to put me in here." Merlin says but then more pain shoots through his body and he whimpers lightly.

Merlin was hoping that the darkness in the dungeons would cover his face but Gwaine is unfortunately too aware of Merlin's state.

"Merlin. What's wrong? What is it?"

"Nothing."

"Stop covering for him!" Gwaine yells.

Merlin closes his eyes trying to blink away the searing pain shooting through his skull.

"I'm not here just for his amusement you know." Merlin says quietly.

"Are you sure about that? Because sometimes it's hard to tell with him."

Merlin's heart begins to race as he realizes that even though his secret is out in the open another close friend of his has yet to find out and his mind is telling him to make up an excuse.

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Tell me. You know you can tell me."

Merlin turns away from him a decides to face the wall instead of his friend.

"I...I have magic...well I don't right now because well...I mean I am magic, I don't just have magic...I was born with it...but I guess not anymore..." Merlin knows he's rambling but he can't help it. He scratches at his wrists.

When Gwaine doesn't answer Merlin turns around to face him.

"I know." The knight says with a smile.

"You heard the rumours? So why are you asking me then?" Merlin says slightly annoyed.

"No, I didn't hear the rumours. I just heard you were in the dungeons so I immediately came here. But I knew before."

"How long?" Merlin asks slightly disturbed that maybe he wasn't as good at hiding his secret as he had thought.

"Just a few weeks. I've just been trying to find a way to talk to you about it." Gwaine says.

"Tell me about it." Merlin sighs.

"But I still don't understand why you are here." Gwaine jabs a finger at the stone wall beside him.

Merlin frowns. "I would think that's obvious. You do remember that this is Camelot right?" Merlin asks.

"Yes."

"Camelot punishes magic by death remember?" Merlin says.

"Yeah but you're Merlin."

Merlin begins to laugh hysterically and soon he's falling on the ground.

"Merlin? Did I miss something?" Gwaine looks at his friend on the ground.

Merlin realizes that he's not only laughing but also crying. It appears he is starting to go insane.

"You know 'being Merlin' doesn't exempt me from the law right? I mean I don't even know what 'being Merlin' means other than clumsiness." Merlin finally controls his laughter and smiles sadly.

"Arthur is okay with this? You two are inseparable and now he's just going to let you...I think it's time I had a chat with the king."

"Gwaine. Wait." Merlin sobers up.

"I'll be back."

"No. Don't...I deserve this."

"No, you don't. All you have ever done for the princess is protect him and serve him way past what a manservant does." Gwaine raises his voice.

"I lied to him!" Merlin raises his voice to match Gwaine's.

"You lied to me to and do you see me condemning you to death?"

"No but that's different."

"No Merlin, it's not."

"He is the king. He has to uphold the law otherwise no one will take him seriously. And not telling him is betrayal. He's been betrayed too many times."

"Oh Merlin. I will have a chat with him that will most likely include swords."

"Gwaine. Please. Let this go."

"I can't let this go! Not when my friend is about to die!"

"Then do this as my last wish. Arthur is a stubborn man but a good man. I hurt him and he is the king. When I'm gone...you have to promise me that you will protect him. I know you don't like him right now but please, I beg you, protect him."

"I can't, not when..." Gwaine's voice is shaking.

Merlin whimpers as more pains shoots up his spine.

"Please, Gwaine. Don't do anything stupid. Don't challenge him just protect him. Please..." Merlin feels stupid for begging like this but it doesn't matter anymore, not when he is going to be gone from this world soon.

"I will be back to bring you some food." Gwaine says and turns around leaving Merlin in the dark alone.


	5. Darkness

Merlin sits in the dark but his eyes have gotten used to it by now. His exhaustion should be letting him sleep but how can he when these are his last hours? Besides, the pain that pulses through him once in a while is too distracting and his lack of magic too disturbing for him to even think about sleeping.

He wishes Gaius and Gwen would come and visit but he isn't hopeful. He severely doubts Gwaine was allowed down here and Arthur is aware of Gaius' past with magic, as well as his relationship with Merlin. Merlin doesn't want his mentor getting hurt unnecessarily. As for Gwen? Dear sweet Gwen. His first friend at Camelot. He knows she could calm his heart, to make him believe everything will be okay, but he's sure he would break down being in her presence.

There's a barely audible shuffling out in the hall and Merlin's ears perk up to hear who it might be. But after straining for a few minutes no one appears.

"Hello?" He asks into the darkness but there's no reply.

Another pain shoots up his spine and he lets out a loud whimper knowing that no one is around to see him in such a state.

A dark feeling flows through Merlin and he sniffs the air. There's someone here, hiding, but it's more than that. There's a hint of magic.

"Show yourself." Merlin says loudly no longer afraid of anything. Well, that may be an understatement, without his magic he feels very afraid but more for Camelot than himself, he is going to his death after all.

A dark figure comes out of the shadows. Merlin can immediately make out who it is.

"Agravaine."

"That's Lord Agravaine to you boy."

"You are no lord to me."

"Watch it."

"I'm going to my death. I hardly have anything to lose." Merlin snipes back.

A dark grin comes across Agravaine's face that puts fear into Merlin.

"How about Gaius? Or Gwen? Or maybe one of the knights? Or how about your mother?" Agravaine starts listing off names he could potentially harm.

Merlin gasps. Would he truly do this? Even now?

"No. You wouldn't..."

"Or maybe I could hurt the one you care about most, hm?" Agrarian smiles darkly.

Merlin swallows.

"Arthur." The man says.

"No. You wouldn't. He is your nephew. Don't hurt him. Don't hurt them. What use is this to you Lord Agravaine?" Merlin closes his hands across the bars staring into the older man's eyes.

"Pleasure. I've wanted to hurt Emrys for a long time. I've wanted to hurt Arthur for a long time. And how can I hurt him? Now that he's condemned you? Hurt you even more. Make you crumble. Hurt those close to you and finally hurt Arthur. Or maybe I will hurt him after you are gone. You will die knowing there is nothing you can do to save him." There's almost a maniacal glint in the man's eyes as he lists of the possibilities.

"Why hurt an innocent woman? Leave her out of this! And leave Arthur out of this! The knights will protect him."

Agravaine smirks in disdain.

"Not from dark magic."

Merlin squeezes his hands into fists.

"You wouldn't. What use is hurting me even more to hurt Arthur? Arthur is the one who sent me here. I doubt he cares about my feelings."

Agravaine begins to laugh as if Merlin said the funniest joke of the century. So Merlin waits.

"Stupid manservant. I really don't understand it. But believe me hurting you will do a lot of damage. And Arthur won't even know it was me. I'll be there to calm him and assure him, and then finally serve the final blow."

The older man reaches through the bars and before Merlin can move away touches Merlin's shoulder. A surge of dark magic courses through Merlin and he screams. Immediately Agravaine puts a sort of muffle over Merlin's screams so that no one can hear them. By the time the pain is gone Agravaine is gone and Merlin crumbles to the floor sobbing.


	6. Friend

Merlin was slowing losing track of time. He could tell daylight was coming soon for there was one bird chirping outside. It was the fact that he was going in and out of a dreamless state that confused him. A shuffling of feet was what awoke him from this strange state he was in. He was partially leaning against the wall and partially lying down on the ground covered in the salt of his tears. He tried pushing himself up into a full sitting position but it appeared to be too hard. The cuffs were taking away his energy and the conversation with Agravaine left him without motivation.

Merlin blinks a few times to see who is standing by the bars and on his third attempt he could make out the soft curves of Gwen.

"Gwen…" Merlin tries to say but his voice is rough and he immediately goes into a coughing fit.

"Drink this." Gwen says and passes him a cup of water. It immediately soothes his throat and he wishes she had such soothing water for his whole body.

"What are you doing here?" Merlin asks looking around to see if there are any guards who might catch her.

"I came to see my friend." She says matter-of-factly.

"I'm still your friend…?" Merlin asks and Gwen frowns at the surprise in his voice.

"Of course you are Merlin…Here. I brought you some food."

"What use is food when the daylight is coming? Besides. I feel so nauseous that I don't think I could stomach it. Shouldn't you be waiting with Arthur? He is your husband after all."

Merlin realizes that the last bit might have come out a bit too bitterly but Gwen doesn't react.

There is an awkward moment of silence as neither one of them know what to say or talk about.

"I will always be grateful you know? You were my first friend here at Camelot." Merlin says warmly and he can see Gwen blush.

"It would be hard not to warm up to you. You're always so happy."

Merlin wants to interject and say that that's not true but decides against it. It's very obvious they are skirting the whole subject of Arthur putting him in here.

"You should go before you get caught."

"A perk of being the queen is that I can get caught."

"You might be the queen but I wouldn't be surprised if…the king gave an order of no one seeing me, and that applies to you too."

Merlin can see her shoulders sag.

"How is…Gaius?" Merlin asks.

"He's especially forbidden to come down here. There's a guard at his door."

"Why?!"

"I think he's being questioned."

"Gaius is innocent in all this."

Gwen looks at him with one raised eyebrow showing she highly doubts it but doesn't want to voice it aloud.

"Don't worry about him Merlin. Worry about yourself. For once, worry about yourself and not others." She says almost angrily.

There's another moment of silence. Merlin thinks about his mentor. Surely Arthur wouldn't condemn him…

"I wish I could…What Arthur did isn't…I don't…Why didn't you tell me?" Gwen starts saying but eventually lands on the question.

Merlin looks down at the floor.

"I wish there was an easy answer to that question but there isn't." And he leaves it at that and Gwen accepts it.

"Gwen, take care." He says as she's leaving.

"You have to get out of here Merlin. I will talk to Arthur about it. He isn't being himself. You have to…I won't watch you…" She can't say what is obviously on both of their minds and leaves.

And yet again Merlin is left alone.


	7. One coin, Two sides

A guard comes to the bars and starts unlocking the door.

Merlin can't even bother to look up. He's surprised it's time for his execution. He thought he would hear the crowds cheering outside and smell some smoke.

"The king will see you now." The guard says.

"I highly doubt that." Merlin says and closes his eyes again.

"You dare disobey his order?"

"Well I'm already being sentenced so what does it matter." Merlin says annoyed that he was being deprived of his last few moments of sleep.

The guard, with the help of another, walks over and lifts Merlin up.

"Alright, alright. I'm up." Merlin says moving the hands of the guards down but the moment they aren't holding him he falls to the ground.

"Alright, maybe I'm not." Merlin mumbles when more searing pain shoots through him from the cuffs. He had already gotten used to it, it was almost this distant dull ache at the back of his mind but now that he was moving again it came back to the front.

The guards help him up a second time and they walk in silence up the stairs. However, instead of going outside they move higher into the building.

"I don't mean to be doing your job for you but isn't the courtyard outside?"

"The king wanted to see you first." The guard replies.

Merlin isn't sure what to make of it. Does this mean that Arthur doesn't want a public display of his death and will just execute him here? Or does he want Merlin to kneel in front of him and beg for his life? Then Merlin has to wonder whether he actually would. He liked to think of himself as humble but when it came to Arthur his pride was high.

Finally they arrive at the door Merlin was sure he would never see again. Arthur's chambers. Arthur had his separate chambers that connect to another chamber that he shares with Gwen, who has her own separate chamber connected to that.

Suddenly Merlin's heart begins to race. His instinct is telling him to flee. What does Arthur want from him?

The guards knock and wait for a reply. Merlin smirks, realizing that if it were just him he would just enter without knocking. Of course, everything is different now. He wishes everything could be as it was before. He would enter the chambers without knocking, Arthur would roll his eyes, insult him and throw a goblet at him, Merlin would roll his eyes and have a comeback ready, and then begin folding his clothes as Arthur reminded Merlin of all the chores he must do.

They enter with Merlin in tow and Merlin sees Arthur is facing the window with his back towards them. He can't help but noticing that he looks almost sick. His hands are tight and he is a bit pale. There are various objects strewn across the room and papers all over the place. Merlin's natural instinct is to go and pick up those papers to read, edit and put in a neat pile. But that's not his job anymore. If anyone told him all those years ago that he would actually miss cleaning up after Arthur he would have proclaimed them mad.

"Guards. You are dismissed." Arthur says and Merlin can hear the tightness in his voice.

"Sire, are you sure?" One of them asks and Merlin hears the implication of leaving a dangerous sorcerer in the kings chambers alone.

"That was an order."

The guards let go of him and as soon as they do he falls to the ground.

He sees Arthur turn slightly to see what's going on before turning back to the window.

The guards help him stand up again and Merlin does all in his power to keep standing. The guards leave and as soon as the door is shut an invisible cloud sets down on them and Merlin feels like Arthur is a whole world away from him not just a few steps.

Normally, when there is a silence, when neither is doing anything, one of them would start a random conversation, usually Merlin because he wasn't good at dealing with awkward silences. He didn't abide by the 'speak when spoken to' rule. But, yet again, this was no longer his world. So he waits, patiently.

"What's your name?" Arthur begins still facing the window.

Merlin frowns.

"Merlin…sire." He quickly adds the last part knowing that cheekiness won't get him anywhere. He isn't sure why he's so desperate to make Arthur understand when he's going to be dead soon.

"I may have fallen into your trap but you're out in the open now. Who are you really?"Arthur asks, his voice rigid.

"I am still the same man. I was born in Ealdor and my mother named me Merlin. That is it…And if we're talking about traps…You didn't fall into any trap. This isn't some evil plan. Besides, I am the one who fell into your trap." Merlin says quietly and bitterly at the end. He knows it's not the best but he can't help it. He can't give up completely. Arthur wants him to be him so he will.

"How dare you speak to your king like that."

"The same way I have for the past many years you mean? I don't know what you want me to say Arthur…I mean sire."

"The truth. No more lies…Emrys."

"Don't call me that." Merlin hisses partly because the cuffs burn through him again and partly because it's strange hearing those words coming out of Arthur's mouth directed at him.

"It is your name."

"It's not! It's what the druids call me. I have asked them to stop but they just keep doing it so I let them. But my name is Merlin." Merlin can't help but wonder why it's so important for him to be called Merlin not Emrys. Maybe it is the connection Emrys has to some of the hard decisions he has had to make in the past.

"Are you ordering your king?"

Merlin deflates.

"No."

There's silence and Merlin can see Arthur trying to figure out his next question so he jumps in.

"I deserved the trap you put me in in that throne room. I did. I thought that magic could be free if I gave myself up. And when I heard you wanting to bring it back I thought I would take my chances. Apparently I was wrong. But all I've ever done Arthur…"

"Don't call me that." Arthur growls interrupting him.

"Sire. All I've ever done is protect you and Camelot."

"I don't need protecting."

"You are the best knight out there but there are magic users who fight on a different level than you do. And when they did I stopped them."

"So you fashion yourself into some great warrior? You can't even hold a sword."

The desire to show Arthur what he can do burns within Merlin. It's been burning inside since the day he came to Camelot and confronted him. Yet even now that he's in the open he can't do it. Not because of the cuffs, because he could push some magic through those, but because he's still afraid.

"No. I don't. But not all fights are ones with a sword. I did not ask for this job of protecting you and the kingdom!" Merlin raises his hands up in frustration.

"Then why are you here?!" Arthur turns around to look at Merlin. Anger burns deeply in his eyes.

"I came to Camelot to leave my small village. My mom sent me because she thought I needed more and that it was dangerous for me."

"The village was dangerous for you? You mean you were dangerous for the village." Arthur says.

"No. That's not what I meant and you know it. So she sent me to Camelot because she knew Camelot." Merlin caught himself before he mentioned Gaius' name.

"Why on earth would she send you to Camelot? You?"

"What is that supposed to mean? Just because I'm from a small village doesn't mean I can't manage."

"I meant you're a sorcerer. And this is Camelot." Arthur says emphasizing the words.

"Oh…that…Well I was supposed to blend in not become the prince's manservant."

"So you weaselled yourself into the household."

"I did no such thing! Your father put me in that position, I did not ask for it!"

"Don't you dare bring up my father."

"Anything else I'm not supposed to do? Can't call you by your name, can't mention your father. I didn't know there were rules in an argument." Merlin is getting frustrated.

"This isn't an argument. This is your trial."

"Without the court? A bit unfair. Besides what use is a trial when I already know where I'm going? To my death."

Merlin didn't realize that saying out loud like this would make it more real. Arthur says nothing to that so they stand in silence again.

"Who put you in charge of protecting myself and the kingdom?" Arthur asks.

"Ahh…someone…magical…The point is I didn't want to do it. But apparently there was some prophecy and I wasn't going to just let the evil sorcerers destroy you and the people, so yeah I went along." Merlin says nervously, trying to avoid the question.

"So, following orders. It must have been so hard for you to be here." Arthur says mockingly.

"You know what? Seeing as I am going to my death might as well say it. And I will call you Arthur because you are my friend. Yes. Sometimes it was unbearable being here. Your arrogance and bullying drove me mad. But in the end what I saw was a strong, wonderful king who would do great things, whether or not I was there to see them. That's what got me through your talk of my incapabilities. I didn't protect you because I was told to, I did it because I wanted to. I know I'm just a servant. And I know I was never anything more than that in your eyes. But you, you were more than just my king. You were my friend. And I'm not saying this to persuade you because I have long resigned myself to my fate, I pretty much signed the death wish when I got assigned your manservant. I am saying this so that you can understand."

Arthur turns away immediately.

"You say friend, yet you betrayed me like none other. Is that what friends do?" Merlin can hear Arthur's voice break at one point.

"No…I never meant to betray you. But I was…I was afraid." Merlin finally says.

"You didn't trust me."

"Well see where trust got me." Merlin can't help but saying. Because it's true, all this time he thought that if he did tell him it would not end this way. But maybe Uther's teachings were too ingrained in his son.

"That is besides the point!"

"I did trust you Arthur, sire. I put my life in your hands every single day that I came to your chambers. I was afraid of what telling you would do. Not my death. No. Being afraid for your life every single day kind of takes that fear away. No. I was afraid of you reaction, of how you would see me after I told you. And I was going to tell you one day. I truly was. But…I was a man without courage." Merlin can feel the hot tears streaming down his face.

"You are a fool for not fearing death. You are a fool for coming to Camelot. I wish I had never met you."

Merlin smirks but there is no humour behind it.

"I have been hearing those words come from your mouth since the day we have met."

"This time I mean them." Arthur says in a serious tone.

Those words shake Merlin more than they should. All the years of back-and-forth banter and light insults but he knew that Arthur never truly meant any of it just like Merlin didn't. But Arthur acknowledging that he meant it is too much. But being Merlin he still doesn't want to back down.

"Perhaps I am. Perhaps I am that idiot you talk of. You may regret ever knowing me, the pathetic, useless manservant. But I will never, ever regret coming to Camelot and knowing you, my king. I promised to serve you 'till the day I die. Well it is time I bid farewell for today is that day. It has been an honor. And I can only pray that one day you will forgive me. That one day you will understand….Ah!" The cuffs burn through him and he falls to the ground.

"Merlin! What's wrong?" Arthur asks as he sits beside Merlin, not touching him.

"What do you mean what's wrong? It's the damn cuffs you've put on me. They're killing me, is that not my death sentence?"

"What do you mean they are killing you?"

"Well they're sucking out my magic." Merlin points out sarcastically.

Arthur looks at him blankly.

"I didn't just choose to learn magic I was born with it. So it is a part of my soul. The cuffs are killing that off so my energy is leaving me. Why am I even explaining this to you? Is this some form of torture, explaining how the form of death kills me? Do you want me to explain to you how the pyre works too? Because I have studied it, it would be hard not to when that is what awaits me at the end of my days." Merlin is saying quickly, mostly to try numb the pain.

"The cuffs don't kill."

"Well say what you want but they're killing me now…It's probably because they've only ever been used on people who learned magic. I AM magic. Aaaaah!"

"Guards!" Arthur yells and the men coming marching in.

"Sire! What did he do?"

"Get the keys for the cuffs."

"Sire?"

"Now!"

Merlin can feel tears flowing down.

"I promised myself I wouldn't cry, not in front of you. But well, what does it matter anyway. Maybe I am just a silly girl. But I think I've lived a good life. Maybe not. I don't know." Merlin is rambling on and then he realizes Arthur is about to uncuff him.

"No!" He reaches down with his hand and envelops Arthur's wrist.

"Merlin. This isn't…I didn't know what these do. I…" Arthur runs a hand through his hair.

"If…if you uncuff me here the building might crumble."

"What?"

"Well they've stored up lots of magic…and I mean lots…over my time in the dungeons. When you open them it will come slamming back into me and anything nearby might not do so well."

"How much magic exactly?" Arthur narrows his eyes.

"Er…a fair amount."

"Merlin."

"A lot, okay? A lot. The druids say I'm the most powerful warlock ever." Merlin looks away.

"You. You are the most powerful."

"Well you can believe me or not but if you are indeed going to take those off, which I silently beg you will, I have to cast a spell."

"But you can't cast a spell when those are on."

"Yes, well, most powerful warlock here can actually cast some spells still, no cuffs can cut me off completely though it will probably be the last of my magic. I will cast a protective shield."

"How do I know you won't cast yourself out of here?"

"I've had hours in the dungeon to do that."

"Fair point."

Merlin casts the spell and screams as the last of his magic is ripped away from him and soon darkness envelops him.

When he comes to, which he soon realizes is not long after, his magic is back. His fingers tingle with it. He looks up and sees Arthur staring at him caressing his forehead. He closes his eyes to enjoy but Arthur coughs and stands up. Merlin stands as well as his legs are strong again.

But Arthur is still staring at him.

"Arthur?" Merlin waves a hand in front of his face but he doesn't move.

"Oh no…did I do something? Arthur! Arthur, can you hear me? If you can hear me nod." Merlin starts shaking Arthur's body.

"I can hear you Merlin. Stop shaking me!" Arthur throws Merlin's hands off.

"Oh. It's…you weren't reacting."

"Unlike yourself I have no need to talk incessantly." Arthur says but Merlin can see a blush which confuses him.

"Thank you." Merlin says.

Arthur turns to look at him.

"For what?"

"For taking these off."

"I didn't know they did what they did." Arthur looks down at the ground.

There's silence.

"Show me." Arthur says suddenly.

"Show you? Show you what?" Merlin asks confused.

"Magic. Your magic."

Merlin frowns. "I…"

"That actually was an order."

"I didn't realize I still have to follow those."

"You never have so maybe now is a good time to start."

"What do you want to see?" Merlin asks nervously. He isn't sure where he stands with Arthur at the moment so he needs to be cautious.

"Anything."

Merlin begins by forming a ball of fire in his hands, which he then begins turning into different forms. It's exhilarating to finally feel magic again, he feels like a child. He begins with showing the forest, then he forms a flower and blows on it so the fire-petals fall, he then continues by creating a unicorn and a dragon, and finally without even meaning to he creates a mini fire-Arthur holding a sword and wearing a crown, with a mini fire-Merlin standing beside him and they are both laughing. As soon as Merlin realizes that he closes his hands and brings out the ball of white light that he lead Arthur with when Arthur went to save his life.

Arthur's eyes widen.

"That's…"

Merlin just nods.

"But…"

"I told you. I've been in the shadows protecting you from dangers you didn't even know about."

Arthur walks over to the window and looks out. Merlin looks at Arthur wistfully knowing that this will soon end.

"I don't know what to do Merlin."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't just condemn you like that."

Merlin breathes in a staggered breath. Did he hear Arthur correctly?

"Of course you can." He walks over to his king to stand beside him in front of the window but he doesn't look outside, too afraid to see a pyre. Arthur frowns at him before looking back out.

"I have broken a law. And I knew that one day, if I didn't die beside you, then I would die by your hand. It is simple."

Merlin isn't sure why he's doing this. He has a chance here to run away from his death. Maybe he hit his head when he got his magic back.

"It's not simple Merlin! This is your life you are talking about! How can you be so easy about it?!"

"It was easy for you not long ago. Also, I have had all night in the dungeons. They aren't exactly made for sleep."

"Do you think it was easy for me? Do you think I slept soundly?! When I brought out Emrys like that it was for selfish reasons. If I had known it was you…" Merlin can see Arthur jaw and hands tighten.

"What does it matter that it was me? The law is the law is it not?" Merlin isn't even sure what they are arguing about anymore because he's sure his part is done. He has persuaded Arthur, possibly, that he isn't the evil of all evils. And that's all he wanted.

"I would've found a way around it."

"You're the king!"

"Exactly!" Arthur says in frustration.

"Arthur. I am fine. I have made my peace."

"Well I haven't!" Arthur yells and Merlin sees a small tear slide down his face as he turns away from him.

"This is why I have you. To help me with difficult decisions. You're always here for that." Arthur says quietly.

"I am here now." Merlin puts a hand on Arthur's shoulder.

"Deciding your own fate."

"My fate is decided. I will die in service of my king."

"I won't let you die Merlin. I won't. You have been by my side when others abandoned me. Now let me do the same for you."

"You have to do this Arthur. You're the king, you have to enforce the law."

"There are always loopholes. I've been working all night…" He points to the table with papers.

"What are those?"

"Policies, laws, possible loopholes…"

Merlin frowns.

"Just moments ago you were ready to kill me on the spot."

"I was never ready for that." Arthur says quietly and it warms Merlin that even though he despised Merlin he still wanted to help him.

"If you hadn't been such an idiot and told me you were a sorcerer, we wouldn't be in this situation."

"If you hadn't been such a dollop head and tricked me into revealing myself in front of everyone, we wouldn't be in this situation." Merlin wants to laugh because he never thought he'd be able to banter with Arthur again. There was still a lot of tension but it was less suffocating.

After a few hours of trying to find a loophole they seem to have figured it out.

Arthur smiles in excitement and so does Merlin but then his face falls.

Arthur notices. "What is it?"

"It won't work."

"What do you mean?"

"No matter what we do, it won't work."

"And why is that Merlin?"

"Simple. Anyone opposing the idea will think you're under a spell."

Arthur looks down also realizing that that will be an issue with all their ideas.

"Not unless you wear those." He points to the cuffs.

Merlin looks at them and nearly throws up. Arthur gets up and rubs his back.

"Merlin. Calm down. It won't be for long."

Merlin takes deep breaths to calm himself down. Arthur's soothing hands definitely help.

There's a knock on the door and the two of them jump at the sound, and Arthur sits down immediately and clears his throat. Merlin gets up to open it but Arthur places a hand on him to stop him.

Merlin frowns.

"You're not my manservant, remember?" Arthur says.

Merlin's face falls. "Right."

Arthur walks to the door and opens it but doesn't let the guards peer in.

"The pyre is ready sire."

"Call it off."

"Sire?"

"Call it off. And call the court to session. Or no. Call off the pyre but ask the people to stay in the courtyard. I have an announcement."

"Do you want us to take the sorcerer back to the dungeons?"

"No. I am safe here. The cuffs are on and I am still finding out information."

Finally they leave and Arthur shuts the door.

"You called off the pyre." Merlin says.

"Back to pointing out the obvious Merlin?" Arthur says.

"I am going to announce your pardon to the people." Arthur continues.

Merlin goes wide-eyed. "But we're not ready."

"We have everything that we need."

Merlin begins to hyperventilate so Arthur reaches out to rub his back again.

"Merlin, you need to calm down because I will have to ask you to put on the cuffs again."

Merlin puts them on and tries to suppress the agony. He can distantly feel Arthur rubbing his shoulders to calm him down, and finally he can clear his head.

"Ready?" Arthur asks.

Merlin just nods in response.

They walk into the hallway but on their way they meet Gaius.

"Gaius!" Merlin yells out and runs towards him but trips.

Arthur can't help but snicker.

"My dear boy! You look terrible." The physician looks Merlin over.

"Sire. Please, I beg you. Don't let this happen. You will regret it. Let me take his place. I forced him into magic, this is not his fault." Gaius begins.

"Gaius. The pyre has been called off." Arthur says.

"Excuse me?"

"He means I'm not going to die…today anyways." Merlin says with a smile

"You're not?" Gaius narrows his eyes at the two of them.

"Well you could sound happier about it." Merlin grumbles.

"I am…I am just having a hard time believing it."

"Come to the courtyard. I have a big announcement." Arthur says and they continue walking leaving the old man pondering.

They're nearing the terrace when they run into Gwaine, Lancelot, Leon, Elyan, and Percival.

"Sire." Leon says and the others, except Gwaine, follow suit.

Gwaine notices Merlin in cuffs standing by Arthur, and so the knight takes out his sword and looks determinedly at Arthur.

"Gwaine." Merlin looks at him.

"I can't let him take you away Merlin. I know I promised but I can't just watch you die!"

"Gwaine. I'm not going to my death."

"If you would put your sword down before I decide to banish you." Arthur says calmly.

"I saw the guards taking away the pyre…" Lancelot begins and waits for either Arthur or Merlin to finish his suspicions.

"I am going to pardon Merlin."

"Not good enough. He should be knighted for having to deal with all this crap from you!" Gwaine says.

"May I remind you who you are talking to?" Arthur says and Merlin can see he is losing his patience, the patience he rarely had when it came to Gwaine so he decides to interject.

"Gwaine. Stop before you say something you'll regret. I would say it is good enough. Death versus life seems quite a big deal. And I most definitely do not want to be a knight. That would mean training. All the time."

"You already do that anyways with Arthur." Elyan mentions.

"True. Maybe I should be knighted…" Merlin looks over at Arthur cheekily.

"Do not push your luck today. Knights. Just go down to the courtyard and you will hear it alongside all the townspeople."

Merlin can see Gwaine narrowing his eyes but when Merlin smiles at him he gives in and catches up to the knights.

"Why is it that I feel like some of my people have more loyalty to you than to me, the king?" Arthur asks quietly somewhere between musing to himself and his usual grumbling so Merlin just laughs.

"They may be loyal to me to a certain extent but they will always be loyal to you Arthur. Always."

"As long as I don't put you on the pyre you mean."

"It might help."

Merlin can't believe they are already joking about what not long ago was his reality. He isn't sure whether Arthur's plan will work and maybe he would indeed have to die but somehow he knows it would be easier knowing that Arthur was on his side.


	8. Epilogue: Glow

The weeks past had been spent declaring new laws regarding magic. Magic users must register, they cannot use magic maliciously or for personal or selfish gain, and dark magic is still outlawed. The people took the news surprisingly well, except the few older knights who had been under Uther's early rule.

So, naturally, as Camelot does best, there is a feast to celebrate magic.

Both Arthur and Merlin are drunk as Merlin helps his lord to his chambers. Though Arthur is much more drunk. The only reason Merlin is because he sipped Arthur's goblet one too many times.

As they're in Arthur's chambers the king stops and stares at Merlin.

"Do that thing where you glow." He says.

"What?" Merlin asks.

"Glow for me Merlin."

"Arthur you're not making any sense."

"Yes I am! That night before you almost…ehm…when the cuffs came off you glowed."

"Did I? But that was weeks ago."

"Do it again!"

"I can't."

"But I'm ordering you to."

"You know I would do anything for you Arthur but I don't actually know how to glow like that."

Arthur's face drops and Merlin begins chewing his lips as he notices Arthur pouting. Looking to see if the door is closed, he brings his palms up and creates a a golden light that he sends to envelope his whole self.

Arthur's jaw drops and he smiles.

Arthur stands closer to Merlin to touch the light until Merlin can't hold onto the magic any longer. He can't concentrate as well when he's had wine or ale inside him.

But Arthur is still staring at him.

"Arthur? Are you alright? You look sad."

"You are beautiful." Arthur says in almost a daze.

Merlin is sure that if he had been sipping on anything he would have started sputtering.

"W-what?" Merlin asks.

"Hm?" Arthur says.

"What did you say Arthur?"

"I don't know…my mind is jumbled."

Merlin smiles and sighs.

"Well let's get you to bed then sire."

"Not yet Merlin. Let's sit by the fire."

With a certain amount of effort they make it to the fire in one piece. There's some fur on the ground to make them more comfortable. They sit right beside each other, their hands touching once in a while. Merlin wonders what Arthur is thinking about as he looks at his frowning face. In a bout of courage, probably propelled by the wine, he reaches out and smoothes out his eyebrows.

Arthur stops Merlin's hand and Merlin fears he may have overstepped but Arthur just brings Merlin's hand down to his lap and begins caressing it, almost absentmindedly.

"Are you afraid?" Merlin asks.

"Afraid of what?" Arthur asks.

"Afraid of this new world, a world where magic isn't outlawed."

"No."

"You always say that."

"But I mean it this time. Because I have you by my side Merlin." Arthur takes Merlin's hand that he had been caressing and puts it to his own heart. Merlin can feel the fast beating of his king's heart and swallows. He isn't sure if it's the fire that's making him feel hot or the closeness but he's sure that soon he won't be capable of breathing. Arthur reaches out and with a finger gently, very gently, begins outlining Merlin's throat as he gulped. Merlin's eyes are glued to Arthur's trying to figure out his thoughts. Even though he prides himself in knowing his kings's thoughts he never truly does. Merlin licks his lips. Arthur moves forward and Merlin's eyes slowly widen. Arthur finally stops right by Merlin's ear.

"Can you ever forgive me?" He asks quietly and with a pleading tone in his voice. Merlin shivers at the deep tone so close to his ear.

It's Merlin's turn to take Arthur's hand in his, so he puts it to his own heart and lets Arthur feel his fast heartbeat.

"I forgave you a long time ago Arthur. You must know that."

Their foreheads touch and they continue looking into each other's eyes until Arthur whispers.

"Thank you."


End file.
